You know when you get that feeling- we all get it, I assume- way deep down, in the bottom of your gut. You can't sleep well at night. It's all you think about. It's what keeps your mind going a hundred-million miles an hour. It's wondering and second guessing and just trying to figure it out. It can happen with lots of things in life- pretty much anything. Well, I don't like it.
I guess I should like it, 'cause it forces me to change and do things that are usually WAY out of my comfort zone, but I still don't :). Once it's said and done, I like it. Or at least once it's underway, and everything is falling into place, I like it! Yeah, I'm one of those plan things out, way far in advance, kinda people. I'm not really fond of surprises, unless it's jewelry, and I like to work through every-which-way option I can think of, before it happens. Yup, that's me.
But, unfortunately for me, that's NOT life! I feel this feeling when I get creative: sewing, crafting, making, all that good stuff. It's like there is something calling to me, gnawing at me, wanting me to do, but I just can't figure out what! I can do most anything if you will show me how to do it- I am a visual learner and am wicked good at that! So I ebb and flow with the things I create and things I work on, to try to get closer to the "whatever it is" that I can't figure out. I often wonder if it's just my sense of adventure and the endless possibilities within that just want me to keep pushing and keep creating more. It could very well be just. that. simple.
Speaking of simple... The past year or so, I have felt that annoying feeling again, in an effort to simplify, to go back to the basics, to stretch, to learn, to grow and to love all together, as a family. My brain is always churning, and whenever I get a solid enough idea, it becomes dubbed as a "hair-brained idea". I've had a few of them- some have just been ideas, some have fizzled, and some have worked out spectacularly! But hubby always shakes in his shoes when I say those words though he claims he has gotten used to it now- brave, wonderful soul!
So this Simple, as I refer to it, has lead me to wanting to learn how to prepare, plant, and grow a garden. It has pushed me to teach myself how to can- and let me tell you that Peach Habanero jam is the best stuff under the sun! It's urging me to get rid of excess and do with less, with the things that really matter. We sit outside, when it's over 25 degrees, and eat our meals, together, as a family (yes, we have the outdoor heaters going when it's that cold). We read books together and have fantastic board game marathons together! The Simple-ness is just calling me. I've had some crazy ideas, hair-brained doozies to be exact, and thought that they were just too off-the-wall. But then, a few weeks ago, I stumbled into this from my level-headed cousin's reading list.
Yeah, all my crazy, hair-brained ideas, penned on "paper", and living in real life. Those wild ideas of mine have actually been done, in the real world, with a real family?!! Oh dear- this was all kinds of trouble! Cause then, that means that it could be possible! My head is still having a hard time wrapping itself around that possibility- it isn't just my own imagination anymore. So now we're talking all kinds of way deep down gut-gnawing! Could we be crazy enough to do something like that? Don't know yet. I want to be! I want to jump, but what if you break your bum when you land? And I don't like heights! But I want to go for it so bad! :) It's calling me... but I may have to settle on being Simple where I am for a while, which is still good, just different. And that's ok too. The gnawing will lessen and my brain will settle because everyday is a journey, and although I like to have it all planned out, it is always a new adventure. At least I LOVE adventures!